Bonne Année 2006! Happy New Year 2006!

Bonne Année à toute ma famille et à mes amis. Merci à mes fidèles lecteurs pour leur loyauté et leurs commentaires : Danilo, Hélène, Manon, Nathalie, Paul, Paul, Yseult ainsi qu'aux lecteurs occasionnels ou anonymes.

Vous êtes en ordre alphabétique. Je vous aime tous pareil... je vous jure.

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Happy New Year everybody! Thank you to my loyal fans: Bree, Heather, Margaret, Mariko, Paul, Steve, Vicki and to my occasional or anonymous readers.

I am following alphabetical order - you are all dear to my heart. Stop fighting now... Peace on Earth, remember?

Book List - Liste de livres

Dans le désordre, des livres que je compte lire en 2006:
- Du bon usage de la lenteur Pierre Sansot
- Ensemble, c'est tout Anna Gavelda
- La théorie du chaos James Gleick (traduit par Christian Jeanmougin)
- Corps et âmes Nancy Huston
- Désirs et réalités Nancy Huston
- Don Quichotte Cervantès
- La métaphysique des tubes Amélie Nothomb

D'autres idées? Des suggestions?

+++++

In no particular order, some books that are in my queue to read in 2006:
- The Soul's Code James Hillman
- The End of Poverty Jeffrey D. Sachs
- My Life Bill Clinton
- By The Light of The Moon Dean Koontz
- Postmodernism: A Very Short Introduction Christopher Butler
- Briefer History of Time Stephen Hawking
- The Rule of Four Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason
- Einstein's Universe Nigel Calder

Any other suggestions?

Slow Motion / Ralenti

Some time in November, while shopping, I came across a book I did not buy. It was titled "In Praise of Slowness". I read a paragraph here and there and liked it, then put it aside. I haven't been able to forget the book. Its premise is that we don't enjoy life when we live it full speed and that we need to slow down in everything we do. The example that nagged me was about slow weightlifting and the benefits of it: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=50976 I thought: typical of baby boomers. They can't go fast anymore so everybody should jump on the bandwagon and discover the benefits of slowing down. Of course, I agree with that (to some extent), though there is something in me that equates slowing down as dying - and, hence, not something to actively pursue. I have had time to try and understand what elicited such a strong reaction to a book I hardly browsed: how did the theory threaten me? Did I feel rushed, out of control? Out of sync with myself? Angry that others were finding peace where I wasn't? And now I am laid off. And I have all this free time to "organize" myself (I started a ToDo list with deadlines - I like the pretty table and the feeling of checking off the tasks: Blog? Done). My contemplative side has always been at odds with my active side. Both fight and win battles but the war is still undecided. I don't think there is a "better" way. Better as in “Everybody should do it”. I believe slowness is a mental attitude. I don't think I have achieved it and somehow I see it as related to age. It's as though I still haven't decided or figured out the important stuff I should focus on. But that is a lie: what I like doing, I craft. I enjoy writing longhand because it forces me to stop and think. It has this antiquated and quaint aspect. It is what you do at Christmas to show you care (I spent 15 minutes writing you - I could have checked my email!).
So maybe that is my task while I am between jobs: learn to live slowly, change my inner fabric and see where that leads me. Now to add that to my list...
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En novembre, j’ai feuilleté un livre que je n’ai pas acheté. Il s’intitulait : « Éloge de la lenteur ». Le livre me hante depuis. La théorie est qu’on ne savoure pas la vie à grande vitesse et qu’on doit ralentir dans tout ce qu’on fait. L’exemple qui m’a particulièrement dérangé concernait l’haltérophilie à basse vitesse et ses avantages. J’ai pensé : typique des baby boomers. Ils ne peuvent plus aller vite, alors tout le monde devrait apprécier ralentir. Bien sûr, je suis d’accord (jusqu’à un certain point), même si j’associe le fait de ralentir à la mort, et donc pas quelque chose à entreprendre vigoureusement.
J’ai réfléchi à la réaction si forte que j’ai éprouvé face à un livre que j’ai à peine lu : en quoi cette théorie est-elle menaçante? Est-ce que je me sens pressée, hors contrôle? en porte-à-faux avec moi-même? Fâchée que d’autres trouvent la paix alors que je la cherche en vain? Et tout à coup je suis mise à pied. Et j’ai tout ce temps libre à « organiser » (vite, j’ai cré ue liste de choses à faire avec des échéances – j’aime ce beau petit tableau et le sentiment d’accomplissement quand je coche mes tâches. Blogue? Terminé.)
Mon côté contemplatif s’est toujours disputé avec mon côté actif. Chacun gagne des batailles, mis la guerre n’est pas terminée. Je ne crois pas qu’il y ait une « meilleure » façon de faire les choses. Meilleur dans le sens « Tout le monde devrait faire ça ». Je pense que la lenteur est une question d’attitude. Je ne crois pas en être là et, d’une certaine façon, je pense que c’est lié à l’âge. C’est comme si je n’avais pas encore décidé ou compris ce qui m’importe. Ce n’est pas vrai : ce que j’aime faire, je le fais avec soin. J’aime écrire à la main parce que ça m’oblige à m’arrêter et à penser. Ça a un côté suranné. C’est ce qu’on fait à Noël pour montrer qu’on aime (j’ai passé 15 minutes sur ta carte de vœux – j’aurais pu vérifier mon courriél!).
Alors c’est peut-être la tâche qui m’attend d’ici à ce que je commence un nouvel emploi : apprendre à vivre au ralenti, changer mon être intime et voir où ça va me mener. Bon, je vais ajouter ça à ma liste…

Ambiguity

De plus en plus en Ontario, on voit apparaître des rond-points aux intersections dangeureuses. Dans le magazine Utne (http://www.utne.com/pub/), un article parlait d'un mouvement urbaniste qui cherche à créer l'ambiguïté pour favoriser la réflexion. Ainsi, le nombre d'accidents aux intersections diminue lorsque les indications ne sont pas claires. Les conducteurs doivent ralentir et réfléchir. Si tout est pré-mâché, chacun peut croire qu'il est dans son droit et foncer sur l'autre... Ça semble marcher. Est-ce qu'on peut appliquer cette même théorie à d'autres aspects de la vie?

More and more around me, I see a blossoming of roundabouts at intersections. I read in Utne Reader magazine (http://www.utne.com/pub/) about a new trend in urbanism: the creation of ambiguity. It seems that when faced with bad signage, the average motorist will slow down and think... The accident rate actually drops in ambiguous situations. If you are very clear (though wrong), you tend not to pay attention to what others are doing because you're in the right.
A little ambiguity goes a long way... I wonder how that applies to life in general?

Joyeux Noël Hélène - Merry XMas All

Due to popular demand, I will be adding French content to my site. If you see a French entry, read on. Chances are, the English version follows. As much as possible, I will write bilingual entries. I have a feeling they will be on the same subject, but not necessarily translations of each others. We will see.

Have yourselves a Merry Christmas!

J'ai décidé de faire des entrées bilingues. Elles ne correspondront probablement pas exactement. On verra.

Joyeux Noël à vous et vos proches!

Instant Messaging

OK, so I will miss certain things from work, most of all IMing with my friends.
Ah, but that does not have to be as I subscribed to Yahoo's IM - and it works. My former colleagues can (somehow) reach me through the corporate-approved IM. So all is well - email is just not conducive to chatting. I intend to be translating at my computer all day for the coming months so I will definitely keep in touch - with those who request my user name.

Long time no see

You know it's been a long time when...
- I can't remember the blog address or password
- I have so much to write I don't know where to start
- it's already Christmas...

Sorry about the long wait, folks, I have been busy.
- at work
- preparing for Xmas
- out of work.
Yeah, I lost my job - I love that expression: where the hell did I put that job? Lost it again!
Good severance, time to do stuff I like before job hunting. I started on a project a friend had been holding like a carrot in front of my nose for a long time. It feels great.
I gotta tell you this: I went to the job placement agency the company hires for us (I was laid off as part of a reorg with a bunch of others): I felt like the girl was criticizing me for not being helpless or needy. She wants to help me, damn it, and I am not looking for help. Yet... I will see it her way. I was enthusiastic about anything that did not require me to drive back into town: oooh, you have databases? remote access? nice.
I am not good with long blogs - let's go to the next one.

Mixed Media

I saw the coolest thing this week: an embroidered business card. On the one side was the embroidery - geometric shapes and some pearls, quite peaceful and pleasant. It was created by my friend's grandmother - 83 years old - who used to do embroidered Christmas cards in the same way. The business card is thick; on the side where the name and coordinates appear, there is no embroidery. The embroidery and card are stiched together. My friend said that it is a way to sample your wares amongst embroiderers. I wonder if quiltmakers do something similar... I looked up "embroidery" and "business card" on the Web but found no useful sites. I wondered if there would be collectibles. I had never seen something so intriguing. It certainly makes the business cards I have seen quite... flat.

On Death and Dying

Years ago I read that people decide early on in their lives when and how they will die. For example, I have decided I will die peacefully in my sleep when I reach 100 years.
That is not so far-fetched considering 3 of my 4 grandparents were alive and kicking until 90+ and my parents are both in good health.
Now recently my mother, who never talks about death and dying (too busy living, never liked the subject), has been dropping hints about her death. Another 5 years, she mused once. Lately, she said: I will surely die suddenly. She told me in the same conversation: you can rest assured that I had plenty of fun in my last years.
Now 5 years makes her 80ish which is approximately when her mother started declining. As for dying suddenly (like her dad) after very happy days, it certainly seems preferable to the slow and lonely death her mother endured through Alzheimer. So now that she has given it some thought, she has laid down her plan. I think it brings her comfort to control her death and make it good.
When and how do you plan to die?

Conversations

Spiffy title - works both in French and English which is a must when you are exhibiting in Montreal, which is the case for my cousin for all of November until December 15.
My cousin lived most of his life in Australia, which means we had intense one-month catch-up periods every few years. I guess that made for closer bonds then the ones with cousins I only saw at Christmas. Anyway, he switched his life around and went back to his original passion: artistic expression. He was, in turn, a dancer, photographer, artist and then life took him into a totally different path. He is back to painting after years of not doing so. His current effort can be seen 24/7 at the delta hotel. Actually, for more details and a sneak peak, go to www.daniloart.com

What's in a Name?

Have you ever noticed how if you see an unusual bird or an unusual flower, a familiar reaction is to ask if someone knows what it's called?
This need to name things intrigues me. When that need is met ("It's a robin"), something is appeased. We usually don't go as far as getting any more info: the name itself is what we are after. With the name, we now own the thing itself somehow. It has found its proper place in our little world.
Now this habit dates back. I checked a site on the Bible and found: " So the Lord God formed out of the ground each wild animal and each bird of the sky, and brought each to the man to see what he would call it. And whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. "
What are the adaptative qualities of naming? I guess it allows you to pass on information to the rest of your tribe and improves your survival rate. "You eat this plant, you are dead. Its name means Poison. Remember this."

Do You Wanna Know a Secret?

This is a cool blog that a friend of mine (txs Vicki) introduced me to.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
People send anonymous homemade postcards with their secret on it. Those are posted every Sunday on the site for everyone to read.
Sometimes quite sobering, sickening, other times enlightening. Never boring.

The Code Book

I read this year a great book on cryptography. Not only is it well written, it offers a glimpse into the world of secret agents. Movies such as Mercury Rising demonstrate the extent to which governments are said to go to prevent a code from being broken.
It all comes down to the value we put on intimacy vs the value the government puts on national security. It is a fascinating account of the push and pull of the flow of information.
I can't find the words to share my enthusiasm of the book. Even excerpts don't do it justice. I think the fun is in looking for a good code and the joy in breaking it. This is renewed many times throughout the book.
I was amazed that I deciphered a sentence published in the local newspaper just by following the rules described in the book. I never managed it before -- I got impatient. This time, I was sure that success would follow if I applied the rules and took my time. It was pure joy.
A link to the book in Amazon follows:
The Code Book : The Evolution Of Secrecy From Mary, To Queen Of Scots To Quantum Crytography (Hardcover)by Simon Singh

High School Reunion

Our reunion was quite well organized and a bunch of friends showed up. I hadn't been to the school in years and lots of new buildings had been added. Actually, the auditorium where it was being held did not exist when I was there. Neither did the computer lab... Ok, it's been a few years. The girls were mostly recognizable except for the ones with different hair colour. I couldn't reconcile myself with their new faces. The way people walked was a dead giveaway, which was a surprise. I suppose you don't think of altering the way you walk... The voices were the same.
The people I talked to seemed wiser, more self-assured (not surprising since I last saw them as teenagers) and, on the whole, the same at their core.
I read an article in the local paper reporting a study that showed that what you do in the defining years of young adulthood defines the rest of your life. Someone who is very active into sports will keep that; someone who takes up music will keep that love too. I guess our good or bad habits cristallize at that age. Food for thought...

Body Facts

Did you know that your teeth move around in your mouth? From birth to death, it is a constant migration, a slow dance of the canines, molars and other guests. They are very discreet about it but any good orthodontist will let you in on the secret. There is a constant hustle and bustle, push and pull where the teeth in front push the ones in the back and the ones on top push out the ones on the bottom, each adjusting, trying to make its place in the sun.
Now look at older folks with their natural teeth and you'll see I am not joking. They weren't born with that gaping hole or with that errand tooth. They just parted ways over the years.

Urban Legends

Did you hear about this man whose truck spontaneoulsly caught fire in his garage? The garage and the house also burned down. No, it's not an urban legend. We bought a used pickup truck recently and got a recall on it. It seems the truck could spontaneously catch fire even if the engine was not running. We were advised to keep it away from crowded areas (!) and bring it in for repair as soon as possible (there is a defective part in the cruise control - it is connected to the battery and overheats).
Urban legends follow certain rules: you can't actually trace back the source; it is backed by an authority figure; it contains some kind of warning.
In our case, just calling our dealer confirmed it was true. Sometimes, newspaper unwittingly help propagate urban legends. Most times, if sources cannot be checked, the stories don't get printed.
Jan Harold Brunvand has been studying urban legends and has written much about them. These days, he is tracking legends that travel through emails.
For an example of an urban legend, go to:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/ghosts/vanish.asp

Body Lies

The other expression that bugs me is "his pupils were dilated". Well, the iris is what opens or closes, the pupil being the hole the iris protects (see this amazing building in Paris where the amount of light is regulated through metal irises - link in comment). So, in essence, the pupil is static and the iris contracts and dilates. Yet, our speech focuses on the pupil and keeps alive false notions about how the body works. You would think we would have corrected that by now...

Evolution

There is no such thing as a warm blanket (except if it it coming out of the dryer). If you put your hand on one blanket or another, you will feel a difference in texture, perhaps, but not temperature. The warmth you are alluding to is the warmth escaping from your body and trapped, with different degrees of success, by said blankets. Yet, we still refer to some blankets as warmer than others. No wonder I can't sleep.

Sleep Journal

Well, it's 5 am, not the time I usually get up. I haven't followed the book's recommendations lately. What I find most difficult is eating at regular hours and having a regular bedtime. I don't have the "political will" to do so. At first, the prospect of a better life when I was awake was enough to keep me in check but the power of inertia si very strong and old habits die hard. I will go back to square one and see where my goals were unrealistic. I also think I need to change some underlying assumptions such as "if I go to bed early, I miss out on good stuff" or "If I go to bed early, I don't have much of a life". I need to change my thinking in terms of quality of life when I am awake. That's my next step.

Parallel Worlds

I just came back from a short trip. A friend of a friend (fof) was telling us about hobo symbols (http://www.slackaction.com/signroll.htm). Those are signs that hobos leave behind to communicate to other hobos what lies ahead. Be it a kind woman or safe water, all necessities are covered.
It's nice to think that they are looking out for each other -- survival or mutual aid -- same thing.

Dyslexia - Brain Stimulant?

I just saw a performance from a stand-up comedian. His last routine was to tell the story of Cinderella as a dyslexic. The act sounded like organized gibberish (which it was) which was funny but I couldn't help but feel for the comedian who certainly heard that way some of the time. It must have been hell to memorize. It was a very strange experience as I haven't been diagnosed with dyslexia but exhibit 9 out of the characteristics listed under the heading dyslexia (go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyslexia to take the test). Most dyslexics will exhibit about 10 of the behaviors.
My awareness of dyslexia has come about in adulthood. However, if I read the signs, I can trace its onset back to childhood through seemingly haphazard difficulties - not academic as much as motor.
These days, I notice it when reading words (incorrectly), taking down phone numbers (incorrectly) or having a high tolerance of pain.
I amuse myself with "revolting" doors and other misreadings. My theory is that my brain is bored and is overstimulating itself as the environment is too "flat". I don't seem to perceive the complexities of the world around me and so I create my own palette as a way to stimulate my brain.
I read somewhere of an experiment where people were put in an environment without stimuli (floating in the dark with white noise as background sound). At first, the subjects slept. After they awoke, they would start hallucinating. The experiment was terminated because the results were scary and unexpected. The conclusion was that the brain needed to be stimulated and would stimulate itself if nothing external was forthcoming.
What think you?

Five Senses

I wear my grandma's wedding band. When she passed away, her wedding band was passed on to me. When I first wore it, the sadness and loneliness attached to it were palpable. Such a personal possesion had captured her innermost feelings.
My grandmother had seven children and could not understand why none would take her in and care for her. When she stopped feeding herself regularly, her wedding band started slipping off her finger. I didn't understand why. It never occured to me that my grandmother was losing weight. She told me of another ring she wore to keep the wedding band in place. I still didn't understand.
I saw an article the other day on clues to know when to help an aging parent: untidy hair, stains on clothes, untidy house, clothes buttoned improperly. The list went by the five senses: what to look for if they can't see, can't hear, can't smell, can't feel, can't taste. I wish I had been more aware of the signs, made her last years more hopeful, more joyful so she would have passed away peacefully.
I wish I had used my five senses to detect her failing grasp on life.

Fairy Tales

As a teenager, I loved going to the public library. I devoured whole sections on psychology. I remember coming across a book from Bruno Bettlheim "The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales" (I read the French version "Psychanalyse des contes de fées". I looked up the English title: I hope it's the same book.) Anyway, it opened up a whole new world for me. Reading about the hidden meaning of fairy tales and their impact on children had quite an impact on me. With that book, I also learned something of psychoanalysis which fascinated me for a long time. I had quite forgotten this episode until I came about this link tonight
http://www.surlalunefairytales.com/index.html. It is a site on fairy tales from around the world. It offers links for modern interpretations and the likes. I haven't looked into the forum where, I suspect, lies most of the action.
My favorite fairy tale? I quite enjoyed Jack and the Beanstalk because I liked the pictures. I don't remember one fairy tale standing out, though.

Nights 5 and 6

Are you still interested in the exercises and sleep program? There are 21 nights so I am sparing you by pairing them together. Go ahead and skip this if you find it doesn't concern you. That is what the only topic discussed here.
Night 5 is about rebalancing your life. The idea is that you are more or less in a vicious circle, stressed all day, sleeping poorly at night and that you need to balance your life. The authors describe categories in which you should have activities: "exercise", "pure fun", "just for myself", "charitable, or just for others", "peaceful, spiritual, or renewing". There are two columns: one where you indicate current activities in those categories; the other is for activities you could do. Try it. It looks easier than it is.
For example, I had trouble in the "pure fun" category... I envision pure fun as noisy and quite active. The activities I wrote down are quieter. These days, blogging is what I do for fun.
I also had trouble with "charitable". I know things I could do: at work, there are always opportunities to help, but apart for the occasional push, I don't do anything charitable on an ongoing basis. It does make sense that to lead a balanced life one would be active in all those areas.
I guess we often concentrate on one or two categories that correspond to our personality, fitness level, etc. Most organizations push one type of activity. Exercise comes to mind... And so it is that my life needs more balance if I am to sleep soundly.
Night 6 was about napping: how to (short naps so you don't feel groggy), where and when. It should not infringe on regular sleep, should not be deep but leave you refreshed. I used to nap over the week-ends.
I was not a good napper, did not follow the rules, slept too long, too soundly, and probably aggravated my condition. I am so glad I have this book to set me straight! But seriously, the authors are profesionals and it shows. It is not patronizing, nor judgemental. They present facts (not long theories) and ways to act on what they say.
I am looking forward to reading on Night 7. I find the pace has picked up.

Variations on a Theme

Once upon a time, in a faraway land lived a clumsy knight. He was young and foolish, and easily vexed. Not very smart nor charming, he was awkward around princesses and maids alike. He was ill-tempered, flaring up without provocation. For all that, he was quite ferocious on a battlefield and friends and foes feared him. Alas, one day, he was felled by a great blow and his family buried him on their land.

On the tombstone, you can still read: He was a dork and stormy knight...

Nights 3 and 4

I didn't write about the exercise for Night 3. It was how to establish preferred bedtime and it was tedious.
Night 4 was about stimulants, their effect and how long it lasts. I don't drink coffee but we have little chocolates at work that are real killers. I never thought they could affect my sleep! The good thing about the book is that it is raising my awareness of bad habits I have and basically just making me aware of the impact of poor sleep on my waking hours.
My brother sent me a funny article in an online magazine called Maisonneuve http://www.maisonneuve.org/ (you have to subscribe though, but it's free). The article was titled Sleeping's for suckers and it chronicled one man's battle against sleep. He wanted to sleep for 3 hours a day and nap briefly twice. Says da Vinci did it and spent the remaining time being a genius. It didn't work for him. He became increasingly stupid for lack of sleep. Hmmm - gotta be careful.

Do You Floss?

I was once an Anthropolgy student. We were told of this tribe, the Nacirema who were obsessed with their teeth. They had special medicine men who were tasked to examine people's teeth. Even when their teeth did not hurt, the tribespeople would regularly go see the special medicine men to receive treatment to prevent later pain.
The article is a classic. It describes the American (Nacirema is American in reverse) from the perspective of an outsider. It is quite refreshing and entertaining. Wikipedia has an entry on it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nacirema that is quite informative.

How to Wrap 5 Eggs

Tonight we bought beautiful wrapping ribbons for Xmas presents. There was a beautiful selection but they are expensive and so we chose carefully. The cashier was delighted with our purchase and went on to tell us how she just loves creating beautiful wrappings and how she wished more people would take the time to do it right. She was very passionate about it and my friend - as dedicated a gift-wrapper - told her how the Japanese are the same way and how the act of giving is the important part.
Years ago, I saw a beautiful book "How to wrap 5 eggs" on Japanese wrapping. It was richly illustrated and spoke of, well, wrapping. At the time, I couldn't justify to myself to spend my money on it. When I looked for it again years later, I found the sequel "How to wrap 5 more eggs" which I still didn't buy. (I think my stories about things I don't buy are more interesting than the ones on what I do buy.) This time, the pictures were not as beautiful and plentyful.
My point being? Part of the present is the fact that you spend time on it, thinking of the person who will be receiving it, and infusing it with good vibes. Maybe the most important part. So... get wrapping!

Mafalda

I learned to read on comic strips. I like the simple nice ones and the absurd ones. I read the "mean"ones, but don't enjoy them. I guess I am just waiting to see if they will change.
Mafalda was my all-time favorite. Originally in Spanish, it has been translated in French, and I am sure in many other languages. It's a bunch of children, with Mafalda being the main heroine. She's interested in politics and says grown-up things. I used to quote her all the time. I gave away my whole collection to a friend, hoping he and his kids would enjoy them. I knew them by heart at the time and did not think I would miss them.
The nice thing about comic strips is the drawings. Last time I flew out West, I bought "mangas" (translated in English), those incredibly intricate bold drawings from Japan. Those are sooo cool. Not meant to be funny though. Just something to admire.

Road to Wisdom

I know two people suffering from macular degeneration. One of them is my dad, the other my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is practically blind; she can only see from the periphery. I write her short letters every week in huge type. She enjoys them very much because she can sit in her armchair and read like a regular person. For everyday mail, she uses a special machine that enlarges type under a bright light.
As I said, my father's vision is also failing and I am told this is a genetic disease. My optometrist suggested I take daily multivitamins while my body can still absorb it (!) as prevention. I haven't noticed any deterioration to my eyes and only think about my health when it fails me or my friends.
I was reading a friend's blog before writing this: she is realizing she needs to slow down on competitive sports.
And so I wonder. I wonder where the young people go when they are no longer young but don't yet know it. Still in denial phase. Still grieving yesterday's strenght.
Where will we next get our joy from? Our sense of purpose? We need to evolve our sense of identity to another level. Develop compassion for ourselves and others. Go for Wisdom, perhaps? (it's hard to not be competitive about it: I will be wiser than you, sooner than you. Ha!)
Maybe losing the fine details of my vision will help me see the big picture? Surely there is some sense to this?

Haiku - Take two

My previous take wasn't a haiku. Just goes to show there is no point undertaking a difficult task when you are sleep-deprived. I had a hard time falling asleep again. Jean's music was haunting me.
It's 9:00 o'clock now. Let's see if I can do any better.

Yellow leaves
On blades of green
No frog

Night 2

Well, it's 3:15 a.m. I need to face the facts: I am a poor sleeper. Last night, I was doing the exercise for Night 2 (read previous message for Night 1 exercise). It was about unwanted sleeplessness during the last 24 hours. Well, it just happened that I had slept quite well the night before and decided against taking daytime naps during my too-short holiday. So... I fared quite well. I guess I will make up for it today.
I tend to microsleep at the wheel -- a definite no-no. I am fortunate because I carpool and my carpool buddy is very flexible. She will gladly drive when asked and I can nap (which I do) to recover. In the book, it says to consider microsleeping like an emergency the same way you would of throwing up. A bit graphic, but you get the idea.They said: Consider stopping whatever you are doing as soon as you possibly can and rest. I am pretty good at doing that -- though I need to consider better sleep habits to get rid of this annoying trait when awake.

Haiku - not

I was reading a book on haikus last time I flew out West. The long flight was made shorter when I started looking around for writing material.

The fun these days is to do free form 3-line poems. You can cheat on the number of syllables and not worry about ancient rules of content. Basically, you just write an evocative three-line poem with a twist. It's fun if you're the kind of person who gets engrossed in crossword puzzles...
Now I can't find an old one so I will try and create one now on the fly (no pun intended):

Yawning
Sensory overload
I turn off the music

(I was trying to compose something with Wyclef Jean playing in the background)
Feel free to comment in haiku form...

Freecell

The beauty of those computer card games is that you can start the same game over and over again until you know all the pitfalls. It's not unlike movies like Groundhog Day with the endless fascination of redemption. You start over until you get it right, until the last hurdle is passed and you can get to the next level. A metaphor for life.
You can also take down the number of the game and start it over when your mind is in peace and then the solution comes of itself; your mind has solved the puzzle without your divine intervention. Another metaphor?

Me Tarzan

Jane Hirshfield paid me a visit this evening. I hadn't read her poems in a while and was happy to reacquaint myself with them. A dear friend once paid me a compliment saying my poems reminded her of Jane Hirshfield's. As I didn't know the author, she promptly sent me a copy of poems "Given Sugar, Given Salt". They are everyday poems yarning about Buttons, a Hand and other mundane things. Good read.
Don't feel like listening to anything but words on a page tonight.

Running on empty

Mistress of the void... Nothing pleases me more than an empty fridge. The clean smooth surfaces. The absence of smell. The dazzling of the crowds as you pop out a decent dinner out of nowhere. The oohs, the aaahs, the admiration as you create something out of nothing.
The same goes for general cleaning of messes. Where there was chaos, I create space, potentiality. Quite a satisfying sensation to create something invisible yet that has tangible results.

I feel like listening to Jackson Browne now. Go figure.

Sleep

Just started reading this book on sleep before going to bed last night. I couldn't put it down. After doing a few of their tests, I realize I will greatly benefit from their 21-night Program (nothing to buy, though - and I got the book free from a friend so it's not a scam to make money).
Exercise for the first night: Determine what time you should go to bed to feel refreshed in the morning. Well, I read that book so late in the night that I blew that one! I was so upset that I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time.
This is not helping.
Well, I am up and early as usual - feeling, uh, refreshed? 'Tis a long week-end where I live so I am anxious to make the most of it. Listening to Sprinsteen The Rising. How appropriate.

Hello

First blog ever, though I write on every scrap of paper in the house. I am hoping this space will prove less volatile than those myriad thoughts scattered around my little Universe.