Life Story

I am fascinated by the fact that people have Life Stories. I am talking about a narrative that everybody has about themselves. It is typically a story that reflects their view of themselves and that they can recite (or write) to new people they meet.

It consists of little stories meant to show certain character traits or a persona that they carry around. I became aware of this one day when I read part of an email a friend was sending. I had done the exercise in a psychology class, but had never thought that was actually done in real life. I guess it seems obvious, but it was actually quite a shock to me.

I don't believe I am "the youngest of three kids, the only girl" of my family. I don't feel it describes who I am, and yet it helps define my relationship to the world. Isn't that strange? How could this information make someone decide to be my friend? Ah, yes! I too have two brothers! Shall we bond? I don't think so.

Somehow this fact has helped shape who I am but - other girls in a similar situation react differently because of who they are. So how could this be relevant in any way? And yet, that is what I say when asked to describe my family - rank and gender.

I was told that if you are in the majority (say, a boy, in this case), you won't find it necessary to assert that you are a male. It goes without saying. So, to me, what you don't say is as important as what you do say because it reflects your self-image.

Try it. Take a few minutes to see how you would describe yourself to a total stranger. Look for what you omit as obvious and what it says about how you think of yourself and how you feel about yourself, your family, your country, politics, religion.

We'll talk some more about it when you're done.