New and Improved Grocery Shopping

We were discussing how difficult it now is to buy staples at a grocery store. There is new-found angst at buying bread and milk because of the myriad choices there are. I came up with a brilliant solution. At the entrance, there could be a "grocery consultant" to help you make your choices. He or she would ask questions about your household and values and indicate what would be appropriate for you. For example: family of four with growing children? Or aging couple? Perhaps they would ask about cholesterol levels or health issues. Perhaps they would inquire about dietary or monetary restrictions. In any case, they could either walk through the aisles with you or go over your grocery list. If you could not read the labels, they could help you with that. They could accompany you through the store and grab things on high shelves and stuff. I think it would make the customer stay in the store longer (always something the store wants) and help in whatever way to make the shopping experience nicer. Perhaps they could run an get an item while you stay in line... Hmmmm... I think that job would pay for itself...

Forget Desperate Housewives!

A colleague put up one of these motivational posters with the beautiful picture and inspirational text. Except, when I looked more closely, the picture of all those hands stretching out of business suits as an imitation of the knights cry of "All for One and One for All!" actually said: "Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us" in a pretty font.

I wished I had had that idea myself. Laughing, I asked him where he got it. He directed me to despair.com

Here is an excerpt of their catalog: AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

It's in the same vein as Dilbert, and similarly tiring after a while. But still worth a chuckle.