New and Improved Grocery Shopping

We were discussing how difficult it now is to buy staples at a grocery store. There is new-found angst at buying bread and milk because of the myriad choices there are. I came up with a brilliant solution. At the entrance, there could be a "grocery consultant" to help you make your choices. He or she would ask questions about your household and values and indicate what would be appropriate for you. For example: family of four with growing children? Or aging couple? Perhaps they would ask about cholesterol levels or health issues. Perhaps they would inquire about dietary or monetary restrictions. In any case, they could either walk through the aisles with you or go over your grocery list. If you could not read the labels, they could help you with that. They could accompany you through the store and grab things on high shelves and stuff. I think it would make the customer stay in the store longer (always something the store wants) and help in whatever way to make the shopping experience nicer. Perhaps they could run an get an item while you stay in line... Hmmmm... I think that job would pay for itself...

Forget Desperate Housewives!

A colleague put up one of these motivational posters with the beautiful picture and inspirational text. Except, when I looked more closely, the picture of all those hands stretching out of business suits as an imitation of the knights cry of "All for One and One for All!" actually said: "Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us" in a pretty font.

I wished I had had that idea myself. Laughing, I asked him where he got it. He directed me to despair.com

Here is an excerpt of their catalog: AT DESPAIR, INC., we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!

It's in the same vein as Dilbert, and similarly tiring after a while. But still worth a chuckle.

Boxing Day

For the first time in years, I went shopping on Boxing Day. We saw ads for great electronics and wanted in. I left at 9:00 with some trepidation. I had chosen an out-of-the-way venue, deciding the store would be unpopular and as deserted as could be. By the time I arrived (after circling a bit in the one-way streets), it was 9:45 and the store was quiet with just a few cars in the parking lot. I loaded the car with goodies and enjoyed the great savings. It was painless and I was happy (as much as things can make you happy - let's not go there, shall we?). I went to a few other stores, but a lot of them were closed on the 26 - it made sense to me. I wasn't working. Why should they?

As a teenager in Montreal, I went at least once or twice to Sam's the Record Man's Boxing Day sale. It was almost a rite of passage. You get loads of money and you get to spend it on music after waiting for hours in line talking to strangers in the bitter cold. It's a must when you're growing up in Montreal. I paid cash (I did not have a credit card yet) so my math skills had to be up to par. They were - tax was the tricky part but if you rounded up to 10% you were sure to have a safety net. Plus my brother was always there to bail me out. He received even more money than me since he was older. On our way back, we would compare our records and read the labels. There was no way to listen to them until we got home (an hour later) as those were vinyls. We did not mind the wait. It gave us time to decide which we would listen to first...

New job and old ones

I am starting a new job on Monday. My contract ran out Nov 30 and I was offered a permanent full-time position this week. Yay! I love that place! I will be heading over tomorrow to sign the papers. That's a mighty nice Christmas present.
Speaking of... I spent a bit of time shopping and what nice things there are out there! I really ought to go out more!

My to-do list is shrinking nicely:
- create and send Christmas cards Created and started sending
- create and wrap Christmas presents Created and started wrapping
- lunch with friends scheduled for Thursday
- practice the Secret hmmm... need to work on that one
- read Pullman's trilogy His Dark Material (which includes The Golden Compass, made famous by the movie of the same name) done! way cool
- de-cluttering my home office half-done
- scanning and printing old photo albums and negatives done with old photos; not started on negatives
- helping my mom to tidy her home for her Christmas party (a good excuse to catch up) planned for Thursday-Friday
- going out for a movie I think that will have to wait until the holidays proper

... and lots of rest. I am good at napping. I really enjoy that part...

Post Office

I went to the post office to retrieve a parcel. It seems I end up going every week to pick up something or mail something. It's that time of the year. I went in the afternoon, since I was home,
and had to wait in line (I usually rush on my way back home, tired and hungry). It was nice to wait leisurely in line. I don't shop much and would rather not buy than wait in line, unless I am reading a book.
This brought back memories of me and my grandma bringing Christmas parcels to the post office for my Australian cousins. First my grandma and I would pick out the fabric, then she would sew pajamas, then she would cut out paper grocery bags, turn them inside out and voilà! we had good solid wrapping paper. She would wrap the gifts and address the parcel and then we would get on a bus and go wait in line. My grandma would always complain that the shipping was too expensive. There would be a bit of back and forth while the clerk would try and figure a cheaper fare. Once, he told her if she made two parcels, it would be cheaper. We went back home with the parcel and she repackaged it and the next week we came back. I was mortified; my grandma was triumphant. All this came back in a flash. My grandma counting her coins and arguing and me wanting no part in the little drama. You gotta love the post office...

To-Do List

My contract at The Company is over and I have a bit of time before I start again over there (either full-time or as a replacement for a mat leave). Those of you who have worked with me won't be in the least surprised to hear I have created a To-Do List for my off-time:
- create and send Christmas cards
- create and wrap Christmas presents
- lunch with friends
- practice the Secret
- read Pullman's trilogy His Dark Material (which includes The Golden Compass, made famous by the movie of the same name)
- de-cluttering my home office
- scanning and printing old photo albums and negatives
- helping my mom to tidy her home for her Christmas party (a good excuse to catch up)
- going out for a movie

I have two weeks at the most! I guess that's why I am awake at this ungodly hour... So much to do, so little time. : )

Machine translation

The other day I had to evaluate a bunch of texts that had been machine-translated. The intent was to evaluate if for some highly technical, reasonably short, self-contained texts, machine translation (MT, for short) was acceptable. I did sentence-by-sentence analyses which brought to light a number of interesting conclusions:
- there are elements that are not translated. From one language to the next, some filler words (prepositions, for example) just go. They just weigh down the text and don't add meaning. An example is "then" in 'if-then' instances. The poor machine translated then as a time construct instead of causality - the results were disastrous as the added meaning was far from the original. Better to have skipped it altogether.
- some elements cannot be skipped. MT sometimes misses crucial notions. This has the unexpected consequence of making the sentence unreadable. Sometimes the verb or subject will be missing. I did not stop to analyze why - I suspect it has to do with style (syntax, really). The machine cannot recognize the element as important in relation to its position in the sentence.
- common words have many meanings that a human being understands because of context or experience. The word May was translated as a derivative of 'can' instead of the month it was representing.
By the end of the 6-hour exercise, I was in awe of the human brain. Never before had I truly appreciated the complexity of the translation work. MT really demonstrates the enormous amount of weeding that goes into choosing the correct words to translate a thought. It also highlights the thought processes and decision-making abilities of good translators.

The page-by-page analyses showed that even though individual sentences can be properly translated, it is rarely enough to get the meaning across. If important elements are dropped (a negation in a warning, for example), then no matter how grammatical your sentence is, the results are still unacceptable. The text ranged from poor to good, good being the category just above poor. I would have had categories such as laughable, miserable, poor, barely readable, understandable. Good would have been the highest possibility. This was an eye-opening experience...

Book of Revelations

Ok, so the title is already taken, but it's a fine one.
I will tell you about one little revelation: willpower. I realized this past month that what matters is not competence as much as the will to do. This quality I think is the one that guarantees things will get done. There are variants to this truth: they have to do with faith. "If you build it, they will come." And come they do.
Looking around me at work, I realize that personal integrity as well as a strong work ethics define the people with with I enjoy hanging out. These thoughts and others about how to live life fully have led me to believe that my life results not in my thoughts, my emotions or my actions - all things in which at one point I put my faith into - but in my drive which brings all of this into a neat little package. I more or less drifted into my life, not really imparting a conscious direction to it, though I felt and thought and acted in certain ways as though I had a goal or plan. Lately, I came to believe that this is not enough. All these elements need to be wrapped neatly in a direction.
Basically, willpower is the energy that propels thoughts, emotions and actions into reality. Will is the creative power without which nothing exists.
It is a very empowering notion that I plan to keep at the forefront of my thoughts day and night from now on.

Let's Talk about the Weather

So here's the thing: you can predict the weather basd on a caterpillar's colour. Not any caterpillar though. The fuzzy orange and black ones. See, the head is orange, the body black and the tail orange. The amount of black on the body indicates the dryness. You start counting in the Spring, presumably when it is born. If most of the caterpillar is orange, you're getting wet. I am not sure if you can get rings (an alternation of colours).
Anyhow, we found such a caterpillar and brought it to a learned friend who explained it to us. He showed us how we had had a rather dry summer and said not to expect a white Christmas.

It seems this ancient knowledge was used in Cambodia for centuries to plan rice crops.

Another effect of the climate change...

Work

As a rule, I don't blog about work. Today will be the exception. I started working outside my home in mid-July, as we realized Minuit was quite sick. He passed away a week later and I didn't blog for the next two months though I could have found the time. I just couldn't think of anything interesting to write about.

I had been meaning to work at The Company ever since I was laid off from my previous one. Of all the local companies, it had the best reputation, low attrition, no scandals. I personally knew ex-colleagues happily working there and was eager to have a foot in the door. After working there for three months, I still think the world of The Company. My cynicism hasn't kicked in, mostly, I think, because the people I meet are so constantly positive. It is a rare and beautiful thing to see that the core of a company is made up of so many happy people. The fact that they are competent and hard-working is an added bonus. Hard-working competent employees are fairly common in the business but a lot of them, IMHO, are disgruntled and unhappy with life. In The Company, I have met and become friends with people from various departments.

During the day, though we work in cubicles, the noise level is low. Yesterday, at EOD, I heard laughter and was really happy to be still working. It makes such a difference to be in a positive environment, with people who are happy to be there and to contribute. Some of you have heard my grievances about one of my colleagues. She behaved rudely with a number of contractors but, and that is the big thing, her behavior was NOT tolerated and our manager has followed her closely to make sure she would comply with the new behaviour and attitude he wanted her to adopt. It has been many weeks and the atmosphere around her has dramatically improved.

The way this problem was handled is also a testament to the excellence of the people in The Company. There are no perfect situations; our reaction to them is what matters.

So, basically, this is what I have been up to. Adapting to my new environment at work and at home. I think of all of you more often than this blog shows. Really. : )

Can't Explain

I have worked in corporations alongside tech writers for over 15 years (gasp). I always heard that using humor in technical texts is quite risky and should be avoided. Here is a case in point, taken from the label on my conditioner (yes, I read everything):

Directions: Try to contain your laughter. Work conditioner through clean, damp hair. Rinse and commence laughter.

Can somebody explain?

Gratitude

I just finished reading The Secret, a book that gives advice on how to live better. I incorporated a few of the ideas in my life. One of them is to write daily things that happened for which you are grateful. A friend of mine has been doing it for two years just as a general morale booster. I always thought it was a good idea - for her. I bought myself a notebook and started writing a few days ago. It's actually a lot of fun. Example: I am happy for my visit to the dentist (it didn't hurt); I enjoyed stopping for organic vegetables by the side of the road and paying though the honor system; I loved the mushroom sauce Paul made tonight...

Anyways, we'll see where that leads me.

Evolution

Minuit died on July 24. I used to write to Paul's mom as though I were Minuit and, since he died, I send her "extracts from his diary". She asked us if we thought he had been a human being reborn into a dog, which sparked a discussion later between Yseult and me when she mentioned that exchange to me. I told Yseult that I did not think it was possible to reincarnate into anything other than a human body. She argued that she did not believe humans were the highest life form and that we might be better off coming back as plants. She told me of an experiment where two plants were separated : one was kept in a lab and the other was sent into space. The scientists did things to the one on Earth and the one in space reacted immediately as though it was happening to it. "If plants can communicate immediately over such distances, why are we the evolved ones?"
Which got me thinking about how presumptuous it was of me to assume supremacy over plants and animals...

Logic and Me

I don't know why recipes are so hard to follow (see Twist: Technical Writing for another embarrassing example). Last time I baked a cake, I put too much sugar. Sometimes, if the ingredient is indented I don't see it (I tend not to read titles in red, either). This time, the ingredients were not listed in a logical manner (my logic) and the instructions were vague (it was a recipe transcribed, no doubt, from memory - but whose? a confused person, that's for sure). I managed to make a decent strawberry pudding with Paul's help - he pulled out the pudding when I realized I had forgotten to mix the eggs in! and proceeded to correct my mistake. We put it back in the oven. I then realized I hadn't put the required butter on the syrup you pour over it. Out of the oven it came again! By then, it didn't look like what it was supposed to but it turned out pretty good nevertheless.
Of course, it wasn't my fault. I decided the recipe writer must've been on drugs and proceeded to - yes, you guessed it - rewrite it to my satisfaction. And tonight, we are eating the same strawberry pudding just to prove my point (nobody is complaining). Btw - I just took it out of the oven and it is a nice golden colour... see for yourself.

Superstition

I was over at a friend's last week-end. He owns a store and was telling us about the new goods he had recently purchased. We got to talking about the cool umbrellas he carries (Yseult loves umbrellas) and he left the room and came back with a promo one. It features the polar caps and it looks really, really good. He got ready to open it and I suddenly felt uncomfortable "Surely he's not going to open it in the house? Maybe we'll all go on the balcony? You fool - what are you doing!!! You are not supposed to do that. You are only allowed to open it in the bathroom where you put it to dry!" Those thoughts spinned in my head fast and furious as quickly as I was trying to neutralize them, mock them and generally shut them down.
Wow - what a struggle! And to think I used to mock my friend who would toss salt over her shoulder if she (or I) knocked over the salt shaker. If I didn't toss salt over my shoulder, she would. It was just too strong an urge to block. Something we learned as kids and never fully understood (I think the salt blinds the devil that lurks in the shadows; as for the umbrella, I think it's a safety issue) but continue doing as adults. I couldn't believe I held such irrational and powerful thoughts.
The evening proceded without incident and - knock on wood - I hope the rest of the week continues that way...

Peaceful Canadians

For all the threats in the newspapers, there was no animosity displayed between the lawn chairs (cordoned off on the side) and the dancers. I had never been to a show where you can text messages on the big screen. It was a big part of the entertainment.... I taped that just for the fun of using the video feature on my phone...

I didn't enjoy the music as much as I did the CDs, which is a shame. I did get to buy more CDs - Metric and White Stripes - so that was cool. And I generally just enjoy hanging out at outdoor concert venues so all in all I had a good time...

Lawn Chair War

I changed camp this year and joined the lawn chair gang at the Blues fest. I'm not going to go and explain why I did that, I just did. Now I am dreading going to the concert, in fear I will be spat on and generally booed at. I will wear dark glasses and my very fast sneakers and hope I get through this ordeal without any permanent scars.

Keep your fingers crossed - I am hoping for rain to dampen the spirits of the other camp...

Canada Day riddle

Bear with me: I made up a riddle for Canada Day, but did not find the answer to it until today. What's red and white and moves?
It's me, walking with my new cell phone. The phone is white and has a red (detachable) faceplate. Spiffy! We bought it on Friday, I took pictures (yay) with it Saturday and I read the instruction manual (gasp! I hope you tech writers out there are proud of me) online Sunday. You think I would be able to make phone calls by Monday? Well, I was...
The camera is not bad at all and even has an integrated flash. We got a Canada Day rebate of $50 (I kid you not) on the package (we got 2). It has all sorts of cool features which I don't need now but might use down the road - who knows? Quite exciting. It had been a while since I had a new toy...

That's all the news, really. Had a quiet Canada Day. Had to deliver some files as I work for ... Americans who aren't patriotic about Canada... ; ) It's all right, we still had time for a little jaywalking in Merrickville - not sure if it's jaywalking if there are no sidewalks to go to and from... not many cars, either... Good fun.

I hope you all had a great Canada Day!

Expat

Today is saint-Jean-Baptiste day but it felt like any other day, here in Ontario, apart from an article in the Citizen (of all places - they are usually not too francophile) talking about 41 reasons to rejoice at the Saint-Jean-Baptiste and sending greetings to "have a good one". For the first since I moved here in 1990, I felt a little saddened by that fact. That was my warm and fuzzy feeling for the day... There were no flags, no reminder of that special day. I felt a tinge of envy towards those fortunate enough to be annoyed by the noise or resentful of the celebratory mood. You can afford to not fully appreciate the companionship when it is so freely given.
Or maybe I was just in a melancholy mood.
I sent a few emails to friends in Montreal, asking if or how they were celebrating. No answer. Were they out? Was it a no-brainer?A non-issue? What's the deal? Sigh.
We had a good dinner (no BBQ because of the impending rain, a toast to highlight the day, and that was it.
So - to all expats - Joyeuse Saint-Jean-Baptiste!

Grandma smell

I hit another "grandma smell" yesterday. I tended to the tomato patch, nipping off the little suckers that, well, suck out the plants energy and divert it to branches with no flowers (hence, no fruits, later on). The green smell I had on my hands so vividly called upon my grandma. We used to tend her vegetable patch together - she grew lots of tomatoes, green and yellow beans and... really, I don't remember much else.
As much as my father loved to experiment in his patch - growing enormous zucchinis that only a zucchini bread could handle - my grandma was a woman of tried and true things. We ate countless loads of fresh vegetables all summer, and our neighbours also benefitted from her green thumb. She also loved flowers and when we went on walks she would recognize the houses or streets by the flowers that were grown. I was fortunate to see the world through her eyes and learn to appreciate "things that grew". My world was around my friends - this is Susan's house, the neighbour has a dog. My grandma would recognize the double geraniums or the well-tended begonias. And we would go on chatting, sharing our worlds and appreciating each other's company.
I love the green smell.